Gravity 2018 Red Blend

(Written April 12, 2022) Hello!  Today's wine is Gravity.  It's a 2018 Red Blend from California, from Mount Peak Winery.

Besides the UPC and "don't drink wine if you're preggers or driving" stuff, that's it on the label!  I TOTALLY approve of that kind of labelling and that's the main reason why I paid $40 for this bottle at the local Grocery Store (C).

Yup.

Plus, check out that sick bleeding tree!  Hitting a lot of my metrics here.

This is not a $40 bottle of wine.  I mean, c'mon.  It tastes good, sure, but this is for the person who is shitty enough to value the most expensive thing available AND shitty enough to look for that at the Local Grocery Store (c).

It's a decent red blend, sure.  A little too sweet, and a little too shouty.   But what the fuck ever - I'm listening to Nine Inch Nails and Bjork remixes tonight so 'a little too shouty' is kind of what I'm into, I suppose.

It's the 'Broken' EP and the 'Hyperballad' remixes, respectively.  If you're interested.

Yeah, so it's got a lot of deep dark notes.  I like that, and it balances out the jammy.

Do you really want to pay forty bucks for a jammy wine?  Why?  Get a decent Zin for $10 or a good one for $20 and call it good.  Zinfandel is the tequila of wines, you know?  Woo hoo!  Zin makes me want to strip down and dance on the table.

ZinFANdel?  Try ZinFUNdel!

I've been spelling it Zinfindel so far and getting that red line underneath in Chrome, is what's going on up there.

Right.  Refocus.  I'm most of the way through this shit so buckle up because Trent's singing about how he gave up trying to figure it out now.  And me too!  I don't know why I bought this shit.  I'm having a good time with it but - again, and I repeat - this is NOT a forty dollar bottle of wine.

The bottle is wicked heavy.  It came with the weird security tag shit at the top, sure, but I had to check that it was 750ml, because it's slightly bigger than most bottles and - it's got some heft.  If you have a bunch of empty bottles of wine lying around, and someone breaks into your house to fuck with your shit, this is the bottle to use as a weapon.  Seriously - I've just about finished and it's as heavy as a bottle I have sitting here that's half full!

But, okay, my dissipative lifestyle and yadda yadda yadda.  It's sweet, but it has a lot of complicated deep bottom notes.  There's a lot going on here.  It's not very astringent, but just enough, and it hits hard at first, but then it gets better and the aftertaste is nice but still pretty jammy.

This wine - this wine is like the fanciest PBJ.  Like you go to the French Laundry, and one of the dishes on the tasting menu is a berry compote with Thai peanut sauce on ciabatta bread, and you get it and you realize that, yup, that's the best PBJ possible while cleaving true to the milieu.

But c'mon.  The label is sick, sure.  It's got this cool silver ink on the tree and that's fun.  And it's not bad!  It's just not all that, and you can leave the bag of chips over there.

So listen - real talk, here.  Do you want to get laid?  Then buy a nice Chardonnay, or serve Stoli over ice with a splash of vanilla.  Or, and I know this sounds crazy - ask them what they like to drink and serve that.  Being listened to is sexy!

Okay.  Do you want to impress people who care about money?  Then drop a Franklin at a wine store, and make sure you slip that tidbit into the conversation.  Y'all deserve each other, if it works, and please stop reading this blog because at some point I hope that it makes you at least a little sad.

Maybe you want to impress people with the label?  Then listen - you have bigger problems.  You need to read about the Impressionists and the Expressionists.  Klee, Kandinsky, O'Keefe - check some of THAT shit out.  Get a couple of prints at an art museum, and don't pay for a bottle like this.

Maybe you want to impress wine snobs, like TWS - your humble blogger?  Then no.  Go to a wine shop.  Plan out a meal - steak, broccoli, roasted potatoes, creme brulee; stir-fry veg with a light soy dressing over rice, and mint ice over honeydew melon; pork chops, pumpkin curry, and mango ice cream.  I dunno.  Something wacky but not TOO wacky.  Ask them to recommend a wine or two to go with that meal.

Buy the wine and make the meal.  Does it work?  Then fucking go to THAT person, each time, and do what they say.  I've met people who have the magic when it comes to wine - and if you think I'm that person then let me refer you to all of my other blog posts.  You know?

Like - I've been to parties with sommeliers and wine importers who could identify the grape, the label, and the year, while I feel pretty good about telling red from rose from white.  It is a skill that exists and if you find that person you hold on to them.

What were we talking about?  Oh.  This wine.  No, if you want to impress wine snobs you ask them to bring the wine.  If you like pretty labels get Monet's Water Lilies as a print.  If you like wine that tastes good you can find better tasting wines for a quarter of the price.  Personally I like Dark Horse Red Blend better, but Gravity here certainly has a lot more to say.

((MY answers, to those three meals, would be (a) Zerba Cab from 2013, (b) Jinro Soju, and (c) Argyle Brut 2016.))

Also, and just for a little more insight into MY palette, lately I've been putting a slice of ham and some sharp cheddar on bread with peanut butter.  I use a nice crusty loaf from the grocery store, pre-sliced and not sourdough, and I toast it.

Oh.  Oh!  Yup.  This wine would go fucking AMAZINGLY with a toasted slice of crusty bread sandwich, butter on one slice, peanut butter on the other, good smoked ham and sharp cheddar.  Fuck.  Now I have to buy another fucking $40 bottle...

No, fuck that.  I'm'a stick with Pepperwood for my next peanut-butter-and-ham-monstrosity sandwich.  Gonna serve Creme Brulee for afters and if any of you motherfuckers steal that idea for a restaurant I expect a meal comped for me and my spouse.